Contact
Subscribe
Advertise
Follow us on:
Search:
Banner
Chinese Dating Etiquettes: Past and Present

Chinese Dating Etiquettes: Past and Present
By Rose Salas

TP 201904 art 02涓浗绾︿細绀间华锛氳繃鍘诲拰鐜板湪


瀵绘壘鐢熸椿浼翠荆缁濋潪鏄撲簨銆傞殢鐫鏃堕棿鐨勬帹绉伙紝瀵绘壘涓绉嶇埍锛屼俊浠诲拰鍜岃皭鐨勫叧绯讳竴鐩存槸浠讳綍鍗曡韩姹夋垨鍗曡韩濂抽儙鐨勫濮荤洰鏍囥傜洰鍓嶏紝涓浗鐨勬у埆澶辫 閫犳垚浜嗙敺濂虫瘮渚嬬殑宸ㄥぇ宸窛銆傛牴鎹竴椤硅皟鏌ワ紝鐢锋ф瘮濂虫у3350涓囥傞壌浜庤繖涓暟瀛楋紝鍥涘垎涔嬩竴鐨勭敺浜烘案杩滀笉浼氱粨濠氥


瑕佺粨濠氾紝浣犲繀椤婚伒瀹堣鍒欐垨鎵璋撶殑涓変功鍏ぜ銆傚綋鐒讹紝绾︿細鐨勬柟娉曞洜浜鸿屽紓銆 璁╀腑鍥芥枃鍖栦笌浼椾笉鍚岀殑鏄紝灏界鎬濇兂寮鏀撅紝鏃ф椂灏氶淇椾粛鐒跺瓨鍦ㄣ傚洖鍒板彜浠o紝绾︿細涓庤タ鏂规枃鍖栧ぇ涓嶇浉鍚屻傝鎴戜滑鍥為【涓涓嬩腑鍥界害浼氱殑涓浜涢《绾ц涓哄噯鍒欏惂锛


瀹為檯涓婏紝鍗充娇鍙楀埌鍚勭寮虹儓褰卞搷锛屽骞存潵涓鐩村潥瀹炵殑鏂囧寲姘歌繙涓嶄細琚墛寮便傛湁浜涗汉浼间箮涓嶅悓鎰忚繖浜涚害浼氱ぜ浠紝浣嗗氨涓浗绀句細鑰岃█锛屼紶缁熸绘槸鍊煎緱淇濈暀锛

 

Looking for a life partner is never an easy thing. Finding a relationship where love, trust, and harmony deepen as time goes by has always been a marriage goal for any bachelor or a bachelorette. Presently, the gender imbalance in China created a big gap in the ratio of men to women. Based on a survey, there are over 33.5 million more men than women. Given this number, one in four men will never get married.

 

To get into a marriage, you must adhere to the rules or what is known as the Three Letters & the Six Etiquettes. And of course, a single guy must first look for someone to court. Dating practices vary from one person to another. What made Chinese culture unique is how the old-fashion custom still reflects, despite being open-minded is the norm nowadays. Back during ancient times, dating was far different from Western culture. Let鈥檚 get a flashback with some of the top codes of behaviour of Chinese dating!

 

1. The Role of a Legal Matchmaker
- During the Yuan Dynasty, the proposal to a girl who you want to marry is done appropriately in the presence of a Matchmaker. His role is to see and check if the woman is a perfect match for the man, or whether they are a good match based on the four pillars of birth time. They also tag along with them a fortune teller, who will interpret their future based on their birth dates.

TP 201904 art 032. Parental Consent and Approval
- Parents have a significant role when it comes to their child鈥檚 preference, even before marriage. When dating, they prefer more those whom they know, and allow only to go to places where they approve. If you introduce someone to the family, it becomes a big deal, as they believe that the relationship is getting deeper between them and they are heading towards marriage. Without the approval of the parents, marriage should not pursue nor take place; otherwise, it will cause heart breaks and disrespect to them. They were the first matchmakers who decide and set-up a partner for their son or daughter. They prefer them to only marry among their race.

TP 201904 art 043. Women Seek Praises but Men Decide
- Women expect praises during their first date. The appreciation of their beauty is a sign of politeness. They long to hear that they are beautiful, or that they look pleasing. When it comes to a decision, men should dominate. They choose to decide where to go, where to eat, or even what to order. They should initiate the conversation, and the women should not talk too much or be too open. The chat should only revolve around family, friends, and general topics to avoid divulging of very personal matters.

TP 201904 art 054. Women Must Choose to Date Financially-Stable Men
- A woman wishes to marry a guy who will give a comfortable life to his wife. Security comes first before love. Parents are pleased when their daughter would get to know a guy who is career-driven and owns a house, or comes from a reputable family.

TP 201904 art 08What happened to the dating etiquettes presently? Here are a few things about it:

 

1. Strict Dating Etiquette Still Exists
Casual dating is not a standard practice. Single people still look forward to date as a gateway to a lasting relationship. Intimacy is not a requisite for those going steady. Particularly women, purity is something still very precious to them.

 

2. Parents are Still Involved
Yes, even up to these modern days, parents can participate in their children鈥檚 love life. Nonetheless, parents are more open-minded to their son or daughter鈥檚 choice when it comes to deciding who to date or marry.

TP 201904 art 063. The Rise of Dating Apps
A modern way of getting to know, or finding someone, is via dating apps or social media apps. Many singles find it exciting to date people by getting a glance first on their dating bio or profile. For them, it saves time and effort to have an idea first if they could be a good match after exchanging a few chats before meeting. Young people or millennials are into this fad.

TP 201904 art 07. Acceptance is the Key
For inter-racial dating or marriage, each partner bears in mind that they both grew up in different cultures and the best way to make a relationship work is through acceptance of differences and celebration of sameness or similarities. Family ties cannot be separated nor broken in a Chinese family, so if you are a foreigner, extending your love to your partner鈥檚 family is valuable.

 

Indeed, a culture that has been made solid through the years can never be turndown, even with a variety of strong influences. Some people may seem to disagree with these dating etiquettes, but as far as the Chinese society is concerned, traditions are always worth keeping!

  About TJ+     Contact TJ+     Subscribe to TJ+     Advertise on TJ+  
Copyright © 2019 TianjinPlus.com All rights reserved.